Thank goodness I have never needed to employ any of those learned tactics in the repelling of an aggressor toward myself. The one time I was involved in such a situation was way before I learned any such “official” moves, and I managed to get out of it by using my natural instincts, having “right” on my side, and being dedicated to my own cause. That episode, strange as it was, gave me a big reason to not only see the need for protecting myself, but to believe in the concept of self-defense, as well as to see the necessity for making an agreement with myself to believe in the okayness of taking the actions necessary to defend myself against any aggressor.
Anyone who knows me knows I am not an aggressive person. If only one word was to be employed in that regard to describe me, I imagine it would be “peaceful.” Yet when I reflect back on that episode to which I alluded in the above paragraph, I cannot say I would do anything differently in the repelling of that aggressor — I employed all my peaceful, non-physical tactics prior to the inauguration of my very physical self-defense moves — since once I discovered the aggressor was dedicated to his cause at any cost, it set into motion my anti-acceptance mechanism toward his aggression, which apparently was automatic and amateurish, even though it worked.
During much of my official self-defense training, I was often told that one of the biggest reasons some women are not able to defend themselves is because they do not give themselves permission to do what it would take for their own self-defense. Coupled with that is the fact that even if they would want to defend themselves, and give themselves some kind of last-minute permission to do so, fear or lack of knowledge of what would work best under their particular circumstances keeps them from achieving their goal.
We of course have to acknowledge that no amount of fancy footwork, as it were, can cover all contingencies and give one a magical sense of well-being that allows one to feel aggressor-proof as one goes about one’s daily life. That makes me think of a scene from one of those Indiana Jones movies, starring Harrison Ford, where he was facing a menacing aggressor with flashing knives or swords about to inflict who-knows-what upon him, when — with Harrison-Ford-hero-like calm in the face of such impending doom — he simply pulled out a gun and shot the guy.
I am not recommending that we all go around carrying guns; it seemed appropriate in the movie, however, even though I do not like violence.
It is quite apparent that if we place ourselves into dangerous situations, just as we see in any adventure movie, unexpected and dangerous circumstances will present themselves and it behooves us to be as prepared as we possibly can be to handle them.
Although there are plenty of little gizmos on the market for use in self-defense — pepper spray, mace, very loud whistles to use in calling for help, and the like — no aggressor is going to wait while you dig into your purse for that spray; and if you’re far from the nearest set of human ears (with no guarantee that the owner of those ears will want to get involved), even having that whistle handily hanging on a chain around your neck will not do the trick. What I would recommend, however, is to teach all those who might profit from such knowledge of self-defense some of the easiest and best moves to
use in case of such an eventuality. Outside of women in general, I believe self-defense for children — in light of all the child-snatching right out of their homes or their own front yards or while walking to or from school — is vital. Not only might it help to save a child’s life and eliminate the endless and agonizing grief that the parents or anyone in such a child’s life would feel, it could possibly be something that would serve a child in good stead to ward off the bullying kind of aggressor that they sometimes face at school or in their neighborhoods. Having self-defense knowledge could help children have a better sense of self, possibly even leading to feeling less need to join up with a gang “for protection” and the like as they grow a little older.
We’ve all seen enough of those crime scene investigation/forensic evidence kind of shows on TV to know that it doesn’t take much DNA to positively prove who the guilty party is when one is attacked, but it does take some, and we can all be sure to capture that DNA evidence from the aggressor in a number of ways. But at the time such an event is happening, no one is thinking, “How can I be sure to get some DNA for the authorities?” And unless one has been trained in the best moves, or truly has some amazing natural reflexes, no one is also thinking, “What should my next move be to protect myself?” Those kind of situations come upon one quickly and unexpectedly. That’s the
“secret” to why they work so well for the aggressor.
What the unsuspecting targeted would-be victims need to do is have their own “secret” for survival: knowledge — and self-permission to use it, along with a little bit of practice to give them the self-confidence they need to save their own life.