One lazy afternoon I was chatting with my grand-babies as they played “Jiddo Monster” on my bed. “Jiddo” is the Lebanese word for grandfather. The word Monster evolved from my repeated efforts to tackle them as they use my bed for a trampoline game.
That afternoon we got off on the subject of God and I asked Ava and Ashley what they thought was God’s main job. Ava, who attends pre-K at a local church school, had obviously been given the heads-up on the whole God thing.
“Actually, one of God’s main jobs is making people,” said four year old Ava. “He makes them to replace the ones that die, like Vegas our cat, who recently died.”
Six year old Ashley quickly added “That way there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies.”
I had to ask, “Why God didn’t bother to make grown-ups?” “I think babies are smaller and easier to make,” explained Ashley. “That way he doesn’t have to take up his time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.”
That seemed to be a reasonable explanation. When I asked what some of God’s other jobs might be, Ava was quick to chime in. Here favorite word in her four year old world is actually.
“Actually, God’s second most important job is listening to prayers. God doesn’t have time to watch TV or listen to CD’s. It would be way too much noise for his ears.”
“Plus,” added Ashley, “Since God hears everything there must be a lot of noise in his ears unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.”
Ava added “Actually, God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps him pretty busy.” Ashley explained, “So you shouldn’t go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad’s head asking for something they said you couldn’t have, like a new cat named Vegas 2.”
I explained to my granddaughters that some people don’t believe in God. I explained they’re called atheist. “There aren’t any of those at our school,” declared Ava.
I guess there wouldn’t be any in a church school now that I think about it.
“Actually, Jesus is God’s Son,” added Ava.
“Yeah,” added Ashley, “He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn’t want to learn about God.”
“They finally got tired of him preaching to them,” she continued, “And they put him on a cross and put nails in his hands. That had to hurt. But he was good and kind, like his father. He told his father that they didn’t know what they were doing and to forgive them. God said okay.”
“I think his dad (God) appreciated everything that Jesus had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn’t have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven,” explained Ashley.
“So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of themselves, without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.”
‘You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.’
‘If you don’t believe in God,” added Ashley “You will be very lonely, because your parents can’t go everywhere with you, like to school, but God can. It is good to know God’s around you when you’re scared, in the dark or when you can’t swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.”
“But… you shouldn’t just always think of what God can do for you,” explained big sister Ashley to Ava. “I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases and…that’s why I believe in God.”
If you do what you can do, God will do the rest.
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Michael Aun is a syndicated columnist and writes a weekly column for this newspaper. To contact Michael Aun, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.