Most of us understand the noticeable and basic differences between men and women. But some don’t really know the particular thought differences between the sexes that men themselves tell us about, and which are apparently true, according to various experts who have written articles and books about the subject and have conducted extensive interviews with men across all spectrums of manhood.
Men think about sex, in one way or another, “all” the time (don’t take that quite so literally). Some have sexual thoughts just in passing; some put a bit more thought into it, from a little to a lot; and some few allow their thoughts to get the best of them. (By that I mean their sexual thoughts totally take over, which leads them to letting “the worst in them” come to the fore, as though the person is there for their own personal pleasure or gratification.)
If a man has ever allowed his sexual thoughts to get the best of him, whether anyone else knows about it or not (except the person upon whom he forced himself), let him ponder and remember what happened as a result of that episode. (Victims of such behavior are not likely to forget such total disregard for their right not to be sexually abused. It might not become known the day it happened, but the memory will remain, and it may come up sometime in the future when you least expect it.) Did the woman agree to the advances? (That would please the man, but was there some kind of coercion, as in using his power or position to induce some kind of compliance? Think perhaps a Bill Cosby, a Louis CK, or a Harvey Weinstein, or even a Bill Clinton). If the woman was underage, even compliance would not take away his crime, which would depend on the extent of that sexual encounter. And did the man threaten the woman not to tell, suggesting that no one would believe her anyway, which would be another crime. (Could that be what Roy Moore is accused of? The issue is out there, but his guilt has not yet been proven. As guilty as he may appear, he’s innocent until proven guilty.)
Men that cannot control their sexual urges and force themselves on women whenever they feel so inclined are not confined to the political realm, but politicians do make a good (meaning bad) showing in that regard.
And today I received a media alert email from Jeff Anderson & Associates PA. Many of us have probably been aware that some Catholic priests have been accused of sexually abusing children on many occasions, causing them great distress and long-lasting harm, and have been found out by their superiors, and yet the situation (crime) was swept under the rug by the bishops or other Catholic authorities, probably (and this is my opinion) to save the image or reputation of the Catholic Church at large and avoid an open scandal, and to avoid losing parishioners that knew the offending priest.
While the law firm, based on the statistics they have at hand, stated that the New York Catholic Dioceses are the “Most Dangerous in the Country,” that does not mean that any other diocese is more or less okay. It means the amount of priest predators caught in New York State is simply the highest in the country.
Bishops admitted to over 400 accused priests statewide, but concealed the identities of most of them.
The law firm of Jeff Anderson & Associates has been representing thousands of survivors of sexual abuse over three decades and has sued every Catholic bishop to release publicly the names and histories each have held secret in their files.
The firm has offices around the country and is dedicated solely to advocacy for survivors of abuse and child protection. The laws of New York have protected offenders and the Catholic Bishops have secretly held the evidence and identities of thousands of offenders. “The truth must be known for the kids to be safe,” said Mike Reck from his New York office. “They are dirty. It’s time for transparency.”
“Last week, the Diocese of Brooklyn quietly released the names of eight men they knew had sexually abused kids,” said Mike Reck, an attorney for Jeff Anderson and Associates. “If they can release eight names, they can release dozens, right now. Why are they waiting? It’s a public safety issue.” Jeff Anderson and Mike Reck of Jeff Anderson & Associates have challenged every bishop in New York to come clean with the too long held dirty secrets in their files.
“While the IRCP may provide a measure of healing for some, it’s only a glimpse into the ugly truth of the cover-up of child sexual abuse in the state of New York,” said attorney Jeff Anderson. “Only statute of limitations reform will peel away the protections that have allowed these abuses to proliferate for decades and punish the men and women who allowed these child sex crimes to continue.”
Over a decade ago, the New York bishops admitted that there had been 428 priests accused of sexual misconduct, but they have concealed the names of the majority of them.
Every diocese in New York is aware of priests accused of sexual misconduct, the firm says. Bishops alone have this information and an obligation to disclose accurate information to the public and allow survivors suffering alone to know they are not the only one.
Yes, of course we must protect the children, and we must also protect everyone who does not wish to have any man — whether a priest, a politician, the man next door, or even one’s own so-called boyfriend — press unwanted sexual advances upon them. It is so much more than not socially or politically correct. It’s a crime. For the priests, it is a mortal sin (they chose their profession and mortal sin is part of that deal) and a disgrace to their church, and is against everything those children had come to believe in; and it very possibly will be responsible for many parishioners leaving the church. For everyone else — and that includes the priests who get to face the courts as well as their God — it is a crime.
One ought not judge a religion by those who choose to do the wrong thing within that religion, any more than one ought to judge all whites by those who go over to the White Supremacist’s side, or all blacks who may have joined ISIS.
Sexual predators likely never believe what they do or have done is that bad, and they may well forget how the “incident” really was; they may want to forget it as soon as possible, and if brought to their attention, would not likely easily admit it. There may be one or two here or there who acknowledge what they did (Louis CK), but would they agree to the sentence that goes along with that crime?
Politicians, sports figures, men of power or position, and even priests — whether they’re forcing their attentions on women or children, need to be found out, and dealt with accordingly.
Who would say it’s really no big deal to be violated in a sexual manner against one’s wishes? Would the answer be different if we were talking about one’s wife, mother, or son or daughter, underage or not?
Let’s not give the rich, powerful or famous men who force themselves on anyone — or those who use the cloak of their religious position to hide their heinous crimes against children — a free pass to violate anyone just because of who they are, or who they think they are.
A crime is a crime is a crime, no matter who commits it.
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Maramis Choufani is the Managing Editor of the Las Vegas Tribune. She writes a weekly column in this newspaper. To contact Maramis, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.