Why lose the dividend and the investment? I adopted the philosophy years ago: “Be wrong in order that she may be right,” (notwithstanding the fact that she’s generally right anyway).
My wife tells me I could never be a spy because I leave evidence of everything I did in my wake. Denial is my favorite defense mechanism.
Mark Twain observed that it’s not just a river in Egypt.
If you’re unable to admit the truth or deal with reality, denial actually seems to work. It’s a favorite for drug addicts who are often looking for an excuse.
I understand addiction because I was addicted to food. The problem is… you have to eat. You can’t simply “give it up” like one would drugs or alcohol.
Denial seems to function well as a protective shield for the ego for the individual who cannot cope with issues that plague us in life. My wife could have overwhelming evidence that I have committed one of my many assorted sins of neglect, and still I seek refuge in denial. Go figure.
Denial can involve flat out rejection of the existence of facts, allowing those of us who are guilty to minimize the importance of such evidence. Addiction is one of the most common examples of denial, thus the addictive behavior becomes even more problematic.
Most of us men would rather deny the truth than face it for fear of defeat. Defeat is for the valiant soul, and while defeat is part of life, only those who have lost can appreciate the joy of winning.
Since I have experienced an abundance of defeat in my life I can really appreciate the thrill of victory, which comes my way so rarely.
The folks who have never been defeated are generally the ones who never risked a thing in their lives. They have managed to avoid the scars, the humiliation and the feeling of helplessness that comes with taking it on the chin.
Theodore Roosevelt put it best when he said “Far better it is to have dared mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much… for they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
The theory of denial was first researched by Anna Freud. She classified denial as the mechanism of the immature mind because it conflicts with the ability to learn from and cope with reality.
Many contemporary psychoanalysts treat denial as the first stage of a coping cycle. When unwelcome change occurs, like the trauma of death, denial often kicks in. I have been in the life insurance business for over four decades, and I’ve seen denial on its greatest display when someone loses a loved one.
Left metaphorically upon the back burner or put away in a cupboard, the process of sublimation takes over, never quite forgetting or remembering the trauma.
My favorite exercise is to deny denial with my wife. She quotes my grandbaby Ashley: “We know all your tricks!” Sadly, the deadliest form of denial is delay, which is why I never put off denying anything until tomorrow that I can deny today.
I don’t really think I’m that much into denial about my many sins of neglect; I’m very selective about the reality I select, almost like Bill Clinton did with Monica.
Standup comedian Caroline Rhea once joked about being in denial about being in therapy. “I’ve just convinced myself there’s a friend that I see once a week. I lend this friend $90.00 and she never pays me back.”
So the bottom line for me is to deny! Deny! Deny! Deny! My defense is simple. To quote the singer Jimmy Buffet: “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”
Since my grandbabies and my wife have all my schemes all figured out, it’s apparent that I’m not too successful with these methods to my madness.
I like quoting the German prison camp buffoon Sgt. Schultz of Hogan’s Heroes: “I know nothing!